Stop Feeding the Hate Monster

Between yesterday’s vote in North Carolina, and the President’s comments today, I have seen entirely too much hate from both sides of the issue on Facebook, Twitter, and other online mediums.  In an incredibly timely coincidence (if you believe in such things), my church began a three-week series tonight called “Grace, Truth, and Homosexuality.”  The purpose of these talks is to frame the issue, both from a theological standpoint as well as personal, and to decide how the church should engage the LGBT community.

Tonight, we spent about 45 minutes going over the theological viewpoint of homosexuality.  We looked at scriptures in both the Old and the New Testament that point out homosexuality as a sin.  However, two verses in the New Testament stuck out to me the most.  The first chapter of the book of Romans talks about how those that turn away from God give in to immoral and unnatural desires, including homosexuality.  However, there is a follow up verse in chapter two that I think many Christians tend to ignore.

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.  Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth.  So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? – Romans 2:1-4 (NIV)

This passage seems reminiscent of another that I mentioned not that long ago.  “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5, NIV).  For many Christians, we see that the Bible labels something as a sin, and we are very quick to condemn those who commit that sin.  We seem to have either ignored or forgotten the verses that point out that is for God to judge.  We have a different calling.

Christians are called not to judge, but to love.  This is the other verse we discussed tonight that stood out to me.  “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35, NIV).  I think it was Billy Graham (forgive me if I quoted this recently) that said that it is God’s job to judge, the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, and our job to love.  If someone is doing something that is a sin against God, it is up to God to judge that person, not you.  Jesus commanded us to love our neighbors as ourselves.

If you are confused about which neighbor He is referring to, look at the parable of the Good Samaritan.  The guy least likely to help out the injured man was a Samaritan, yet that is who offered aid.  In that particular time in Israel, the Jews considered the Samaritans to be the least desirable people around.  The point of the story is that a neighbor is not just someone in your community.  He doesn’t just mean the neighbor on your street, He means your neighbor on this planet.  He commanded us to love every one, be it Jew, Gentile, Samaritan, or someone who is attracted to the same sex.  So how does this translate to supporting gay marriage?  We each need to decide that for ourselves.

This is a political distinction, and Jesus went out of His way to show people He was concerned with their eternal salvation, not their political ideologies.  I, for one, do not believe it is right to deny homosexuals the same legal privilege that heterosexuals receive simply because they choose to live differently from me.  Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, and even Catholics all choose to live differently than me in one way or another.  And yet, we are not proposing that Catholics not be allowed the same legal privileges that Protestant’s receive.

Again, that is just my opinion.  Regardless of your stance on the marriage issue, I believe that if we look to the sins in our own lives, and just agree to love each other as Christ commanded, these details might not be as difficult to sort out as we have made them.  Since I have two more weeks in this series, expect more on this later.

Stages of Life

Through my somewhat random perusing of blogs, as well as looking through the news feed on Facebook, I see quite a few people posting about their last final exams, their upcoming graduations, and the new, daunting task of beginning the next stage of their lives.  I envy them, to a certain degree.  I remember that mix of excitement, nostalgia, and fear that you feel when you are finally done with school and are about to enter the “real” world.

I think a part of me wants to experience that feeling again.  I didn’t have that after law school, because I was already working full time, I would be working with the same firm, and I had already experienced the trials and tribulation of living on my own without the parental safety net.  In contrast to graduating college, I was thrilled that law school was over.

I could finally end these 13 hour days of work and class.  I would finally get that salary bump that precipitated the law school venture in the first place.  There was no close group of friends that would all be heading in different directions, no community of people I would be leaving behind, and no sense of dread of entering the next stage of adulthood.

My envy comes from a (unwarranted?) belief that I will not have that feeling again.  Now that I am an attorney, I know what job I will be doing for the foreseeable future, I know where I am going to be living, and I know much of my days will be spent paying bills, cleaning my apartment, and spending some time with my friends and family.  I do not mean to sound ungrateful.  I love that I am employed, have a roof over my head, and have a supportive network of friends and family.  I guess I just long for a little adventure.

When I finished undergrad, I didn’t have a job lined up, I didn’t have an apartment yet, and I had no idea what I wanted to do other than stay in DC.  There were times in those months after I left school where I was working part time at Barnes & Noble, barely making rent, when I wished I had a little more security and regularity in my life.  Now that I have both, I find that I wish there was more uncertainty and risk.  How ridiculous is that?

I realize that I am not done growing.  There are additional stages of life that I may yet see.  Career change, marriage, children, who knows?  I just don’t see any of that in my immediate future, if at all.  I guess that after 4 years of law school, I feel the need for some sort of adventure.  I just don’t know what, when, where, or how.

Author John Eldredge says that men desire three things: a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.  I feel like I am lacking in two of the three.  I am fighting my own personal battle to be more healthy.  However, I see no adventure in front of me, much less a beauty to accompany me on such an adventure.  I must say, it creates a sense of longing that I find incredibly irritating.  If I want to move on to the next stage of my life, I need to find that adventure.

Fell Off the Path…Again

As I feared, I used the business of last week as an excuse not to exercise.  While my diet was still fairly on track, I have not worked out in 8 days.  Considering that I am less than 4 weeks away from the next 5K that I want to run, I cannot afford these relapses.  I keep losing my motivation.  I need to find it again, and soon.

Spring 2012 Hell Week Over

Wow.  Every year around this time, there is always at least one week that is just exhausting.  For the previous 4 years, it was more like 2-3 weeks, but now that I am out of school, the big concern in the spring is my firm’s annual spring forum.  We hosted more than 400 education administrators from K-12, higher ed, and even some consulting firms and other private companies.

Despite some snafus, the forum went well, including all three of my presentations.  I had the distinct pleasure (insert sarcastic tone here) of presenting on Federal Reporting Requirements, Charter Schools, and FERPA Rules.  All three went well, and I especially enjoyed the FERPA presentation because it included the most audience participation.  Unlike reporting (all 400+ attendees) and Charters (about 80), FERPA only had about 20 people in my breakout session, which allowed for some dialogue with the attendees.  I enjoy those presentations.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to stay for the final day of the forum because I had to fly down to Arkansas to speak at a conference of the state’s federal program coordinators.  I presented on the Title I Funding Formula.  Seriously, I got all the driest topics this week.  Despite some blank stares and an early finish, I felt it went okay.  Not as well as the three previous attempts, but it was my fourth presentation in three days, so I feel I was due for at least one less-than-stellar performance.

Things got even better when my flight home was delayed and I spent 5 hours in the Little Rock airport.  By the time I got home, I decided to reward myself by going to see the Avengers.  Awesome movie.  At least that week is over, and I am free to start worrying about the next busy week.  And the cycle continues.

A Little Bragging

I tend to be a person that focuses more on the negative than the positive.  Even when something good happens, I key in on the ways in which it could have been better.  I don’t know why I am like this.  It is what it is.  But today is different.  I feel like doing a little bragging.

I started the year off around 296 lbs.  That is after dropping about 18 pounds in 2011.  In January, as is well documented on this blog, my brother and I decided to get healthier.  In that time I have worked out more often than ever before.  I even ran a 5K a couple weeks ago.  In that time, I have made somewhat steady progress.  This morning, I finally got to see a more tangible result of this hard work.

I weighed in for the last time in the month of April.

Now, this is about 16-18 pounds higher than my original goal back in January (I wanted to be around 260 by this point), but it is still about 20 pounds below where I started.  I have not weighed below 280 since before college.  But this is not what has me on cloud 9 today.

As I was getting ready for work, I put on my jeans (casual Friday), and then reached for my belt.  Now, for the last month or so, my jeans simply would not stay up without my belt.  And for the first time that I can remember, I couldn’t wear this belt for the simple reason that I couldn’t make it tight enough.  I have had to get new belts before, but usually for the opposite reasons.  Needless to say, I have never been happier to have a more useless item of clothing.

Progress may be slow, but it is still progress.

Yet Another Reminder…

Gee, thank you Men’s Health for reminding me that I really have no excuses for being single.

Switching Up the Routine

Last week, after completing my first 5K, I got back onto a more regular workout schedule.  I lifted weights on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, and I hit the treadmill on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday.

While my weightlifting sessions have gone okay, I am adding a few more exercises to the routine.  I am doing Chest Flys and Dumbbell Lunges, and I am no longer doing leg extensions or leg curls.  Starting tonight, I also hope to add dumbbell dead lifts to the schedule.

As for the running, all three treadmill sessions went poorly this week.  I actually found myself doing worse on my Couch to 5K training than before the 5K.  As such, I think I am going to forgo the remainder of the C25K program.

The purpose of the program is to keep new runners/joggers from trying to do too much too quickly.  After trying for the better part of 3 months, I think I can safely say I not getting as much out of this program as other people might.

My new goal is to spend the next 6 weeks working more on distance and endurance.  For the next two weeks, I am going to work on getting through 1.55 miles (half a 5K).  I will do a 5 minute walk, then rest the timer and start jogging.  Rather than work on 3 or 5 minute intervals (like Week 4 of C25K), I am going to focus on jogging as long as I can before having to walk, and then picking it back up again when I am able.

The following two weeks, I hope to bump it up to 2 miles, and then spend the following two weeks aiming for 2.5 miles. At the end of those 6 weeks, I plan to run the Komen Race for the Cure 5K  in Washington, DC.  I would like to shave 10 minutes off of my first 5K.  I do not know if that is a realistic goal, but I might as well aim high.

Wish me luck.